(IMO) Top 6 reasons most cyclists are douchebags

Top 6 reasons most cyclists are douchebags.

In no particular order...

Reason 1 - Say "Hi" back you rude bastard.
As a runner I frequent the same quiet country roads as countless road cyclists.  As a runner I welcome the company and always gesture an obvious hello as well as a verbal one.  Rarely do cyclists return the courtesy.  Rarely do they even release the grip on their handlebars and open out a hand to even acknowledge my existence.  Generally they just continue to stare blankly ahead, their minds entirely committed to being up their own asses or the ass of the guy riding in front of them.

Reason 2 - Leg hair
Are you kidding me you shave your legs?  There isn't a valid reason for this so don't try and make one up.  It helps wounds heal?  Probably, but a little bit of 'once in a blue moon road rash' isn't justification to look like a tool 365 days of the year.  Don't even begin to start with drag coefficients.  You're not pushing 80kph, you're barely breaking 30.  Harden up peach.

Reason 3 - Accessorize
Road cyclists are out there for the same reasons I am, to burn calories and get fitter/stronger/faster. If I want to push myself I run harder or faster or seek out hills in exactly the same manor as a cyclist would seeking a similar result.  Why then do I not wear a swoopy helmet, wrap around sunglasses, skin tight clothing, gloves that go all the way up my arm, and best of all, socks that go on the outside of my shoes?  Shorts, a t-shirt and some haggard old shoes now brown and torn beyond recognition.  These are the things I need to go for a run and the rare occasions I dust off my bike, these too are the things I need to go for a ride.

Don't even get me started on the difference in weight between one set of pedals and another.  You could lose more weight with a satisfying burp than you can changing bike parts.  "It all adds up".  Sure it does but the fact that you're moving an object along a horizontal plane made nearly frictionless by 2 massive wheels means it adds up then gets divided by 0.  Take a dump before your next ride and save yourself $10,000

Reason 4 - Gear Nazi's
Even cyclists themselves complain about this one.  Judging each other by the cost of their addiction is like one junkie spending twice as much for their point of coke because it kills just a few more brain cells.  One of the best feelings in the world is peeling past someone that has shelled out several thousand on the very latest carbon fibre fluff.  Made even more rewarding by the fact I'll do it wearing some ripped boardies and a stack hat akin to a freestyle bmxer.  Judge me by my crappy bike and unconventional outfit as you watch me disappear down the road in front of you.

Reason 5 - Cappuccino and a blueberry muffin
Whether you've ridden 20km or 200, you don't need to stop in at a cafe part way through your exercise for cakes and coffee.  You have a mobile food trolley that could potentially feed an african nation.  There's a pocket in the back of your shirt with space for a bagel and about 4 drink holders with ample room for a thermos of harden-the-fuck-up.  I've burned over 30,000Kj in ONE run and carried everything I needed to get it done.  You're not too cool for a backpack or a wicker basket, you just think you are.

Reason 6 - I was only cheating because everyone else was.
That's not an excuse.  If you didn't like it you wouldn't have done it.  No one held you down and put the needle in your arm.  Just say no.  Your ego didn't need the glory more than your conscious needed to be ignored.  You're not just cheating yourself, you're cheating everyone that believes in you.

NEW ZEALANDS BEST TRAIL RUNNER!

Question: Who is New Zealands BEST trail runner?
Answer: I don't know.

This is far easier to speculate then it is to prove and chances are you probably have the correct answer already.  It's probably something like Phil Costley, Sam Wreford, Jono' Wyatt or possibly another ultra fit club runner yet to destroy their road shoes with muck and mud.  So immediately we see a problem with the measure.

Next problem is actually the question itself.  If you create a massive computer to calculate the answer, and it's 42, but it's unclear exactly what the question is, you're going to have a bad time.  Some might say 'a world of problems'.

But what's the question?

The best trail runner?  Over what distance?  What terrain?  What is 'best'?  Is it the person that's raced the most?   The person that has had the most wins?  Beaten the most people?
I didn't define the question until I had gotten some way toward an answer.  I looked at the results having spent countless hours on calculations, I had a think about what I had created and came up with this:

In recent years, who are NZs fastest trail runners?

I now had what I felt were fair results for that question and since that is what you're here for, I'll give you them now:

1	Vajin Armstrong		1	Ruby Muir
2	Martin Lukes		2	Victoria Beck
3	Sjors Corporaal		3	Fleur Pawsey
4	Grant Guise		4	Deb Nicholl
5	Kerry Suter		5	Vanessa Haverd
6	Daniel Clendon		6	Sarah Coghlan
7	Jacob Roberts		7	Michelle Hyland
8	Chris Morrissey		8	Annika Smail
9	Tane Cambridge		9	Piret Klade
10	Graeme Taylor		10	Jean Beaumont
11	Nick Hirschfeld		11	Klaartje VanSchie
12	Thomas Reynolds		12	Helen Gillespie
13	James Kuegler		13	Jane Harper
14	Bryn Davies		14	Lesley Turner Hall

There follows a lot of words explaining the data and how it was constructed.  If you're reading this and you haven't closed your browser calling 'bullshit' stay tuned while I go on to explain how this all came about.

Before we start mining into the data I would at this point like to draw your attention to a similar piece of work that has already been undertaken this year by south island trail runner and statistician, Matt Bixley.  If you're not familiar with that extensive piece of work it included a massive amount or races and basically boiled down to a head-to-head 'battle royal' comparison.  If you beat someone, you are better than that person.  Seems simple enough.  But is it?
Remember that awesome 80's movie The Highlander?  Matt's result was basically that, only the movie had a start and a finish whereas this ranking system was a 'who has the most heads in a bag when the music stops'.  The winner, by the way, was Chris Morrissey.  And "fair enough!" many would say.  Chris is a VERY accomplished trail runner.
But wait on, I've beaten him.  Like 5:2 or something.  Surely I.... bah, who cares.
It was a very informative piece of work and if you want to know who might win in a trail 'fight to the death' I suggest you go seek that list out.  Matt is a spectacular cruncher of numbers and the answer he arrived at is almost certainly more correct than anyone else could ascertain given the same raw data to work off.  My problem was with his question:  If all trial runners had swords, something something, there can be only one!!

It didn't give me the result I wanted to see because it was an answer to a different question.  Lets just say we have 2 different results for 2 different things.

More about my question.

In recent years, who are NZs fastest trail runners?
Recent is 3.  I started looking at results and initially I had hoped to factor into the rankings the proximity that people have run to course records but a number of problems arose as I started to do this.

• Courses change.  Sometimes they move the start, sometimes they detour a section, often the track is just upgraded.  Or perhaps one year was a chaos weather bomb.
• Freaks ruin it for everyone.  If someone ran the course 20% faster 10 years ago it becomes a difficult and inaccurate yard stick to measure this years athletes off.

'Fastest' is a word that also requires some clarification and I probably don't have the space here to paste the calculations I required to define this.  Suffice to say it was as uncomplicated as I could make it.  As with most things the answers are generally staring you right in the face and overcomplicating things is likely only going to confuse you and send you down the wrong path entirely.

Scope

I knew what I was looking for so I only needed a defined amount of data to work off.  If I was compiling a collection of the coolest classic cars I wouldn't buy every single classic car ever made the get to work ranking them.  I would start with the DB7, the E-Type Jag, the Shelby-500. I'd go to the auction houses and get the 50-odd coolest classic cars and get to ranking them.
N.B, I wouldn't be sending them down a drag strip to work out in a one-on-one which one is better.  That would be the job for another car magazine to do.
In addition, I would build in a factor to ensure the E-type's reputation wasn't completely ruined because Margret Thatcher once sat in one.

For this reason I needed less than 20 trail races spanning the country to get a good representation for trial runners.  Generally these are the most hotly contested races, the ones with the biggest fields and the best runners.  I tried where possible to keep them evenly distributed geographically to ensure all regions were well represented.

To be considered eligible as a 'trail runner' you needed to have run a certain number of races.  Unfortunately for some of the fastest men and women in the country this meant they did not feature in the results.  I had a lot of problems with this to be honest.  Someone like Phil Costley who is probably NZs fastest trail runner isn't included because in 3 years of racing he has only completed 2 local races.  There are other runners that don't show up for very similar reasons and my only hope is that they will front up to an important race and give us all a hiding.  To be clear, I don't for a moment think myself slower than only 4 other men in NZ.  There isn't enough rows in my spreadsheet to rank myself against all the truly talented runners lurking in harrier clubrooms or in the bushes around Galatea.
If they haven't raced at one of NZ's more prestigious trail races they just wont show up on this ranking list.  No more need be said of this though it's likely much more will.

Scientific Method:

My university years are some way in my past but I do remember a few things.  Something like this:

Before I started working on this I had a theory that the top ten men in the country would probably go along the lines of Vajin, Marty and Sjors somewhere near the top, myself somewhere in the midfield with GG, while Chris, James and Nick rounded out the top 10.  So I wasn't terribly surprised to arrive at the results I did.  I believe that if you rounded up all those guys (in, or near their top form for the last 3 years) and set them off on an average trail run (like Kauri), you will get the result I have provided above.  Remember this list is a factor of 'fastest performances in the last 3 years'.  Runners at their recent best having a good day.

Write her a list, bitches love lists.

As I have mentioned I more or less got what I expected but that doesn't mean I'm right.  Ruby Muir is good. She is very very good.  Is she the fastest?  Probably.  But somethings aren't quite right with the women's list.  In most part to the fact that fewer women race and the don't travel as far to do so.  Not only dem bitches be crazy but it appears dem bitches be lazy.  After hours and hours of working through the data I found that I even had to account for this problem in my final calculations.  So the women have been worked out slightly differently than the men folk and not being as well versed on the fairer sex I can't say with certainty how accurate those results look to those in the know.  Lesley TH should probably be significantly higher up the order than she currently is having smashed almost everything all year though for her it seems she's peppered the wrong race calender.  A real shame because her real potential isn't at all measured well here.  The clear fix for this is the future.

The Future! (where's my freakin' hoverboard?!?)

Because the scope of this has been restricted it will be easy for me to maintain.  Given I have a fair cover of the better/biggest races in NZ the accuracy of these results will only get better with time as runners like LTH and Coughbroughurgh accidentally enter something of significance and do the damage they're capable of.

In Closing

It's not perfect.  I know that.  It's not even close to perfect.  It is however a pretty good answer to the question I posed as I understood it.  Plenty of room for debate.  I welcome it.  If you believe me miles off I encourage you to take to your MS Excel (or OpenOffice Calc) and get to spreadsheeting!

Kauri Ultra Marathon

Kauri Ultra you say?

So I've been training well since early 2012 and since T42 I've been spit-balling the idea of another good long trail run.  Well, I confirmed my entry today for the Kauri 70km.
I've run the last 32km of this course a few times now and never managed to do it quicker than everyone else on the day which is unfortunate because I've always turned up in good shape and given it everything I had.

Me 'giving it everything I had' in 2009. Punked once again by Sjors.

I have a lot of love for the ARC Kauri run not only for it's breathtaking coastal and ridge running but for the fact they plant one Kauri tree for every entry.  This year my 3rd sapling will be released into the wild with the hope that one day it will be a 1000 year old forest god.  I find that thought humbling.  Grow you good thing!
Ask anyone who's run it previously, you'll not hear a bad word.  For the sake of not setting my keyboard on fire I'll spare the details but there is just way too many great things about this run to list.  Suffice to say, ENTER. THIS. RACE.

There are plenty of quality runners already entered so I'm not expecting a huge result for my 1st foray back into Ultra distance in a few years.  I'm in fairly good shape so the best I can hope for is to get another good couple of months injury-free training done, show up on the day and do my level best.

So what else?

Well it's been a long while since the T42 and much has happened.
I'll try and run through the briefest of recaps for those that are still awake.

shit XC is shit

Camo skirt and Lederhosen?

I had a good weekend over in Tauranga late Autumn.  4th at the Tauranga Open Cross Country after a tough 8km of boring ass grass. The highlight of the day was to follow where I drank and burped my way to a my 1st 'national title' (and mile PB).  Good times.  Horrid beer.

The following day I chucked what legs I had remaining at one of the local trails used by some of the better runners in the region to hone their skills.  I managed to shave a few seconds off their 90 minute course record only to have my time thumped a few days later.  We'll meet again Kaimai's, oh yes we will.

Notably that was the 1st outing for my Talon 212's which performed admirably.  More grip than a school boy holding an underwear catalog.

Other running highlights from recent weeks include a 15:32 5km (I'm thinking 4.95km), a 10:00 3.3km and a fairly respectable 72:09 for the Cambridge Half Marathon.

So all things considered it's not been a terrible come back to date.  I figure I'm within a few percent of my best from a few years ago and not training nearly as hard.  Around half of the weekly mileage I used to run in training.

To what do I owe this re-found form?  It's hard to say, I guess I have had another year or two of bedding down aerobic base.  I'm doing more hill work than before and certainly more intervals and reps.  Not without mention is time in Vibram Fives at the track which have certainly made a difference to my calf muscles.

What next?

I want to have a good run at National Road Relays in early Oct then get as much long running done ahead of Kauri Ultra.  Outside of that I've not made any plans but I probably should get down to a track and hit out some races with 'thousand' in the title while I'm still running well.  the next big injury is usually just around the corner.

Thanks as always to the continued support of my friends and family and the good people at BarefootInc.

T42

T42

After an acceptable run at the Nugget in mid April I thought I should set myself a slightly more lofty race target and began drawing up plans for Total Sport's T42 trail marathon.  There was only 2 weeks separating The Nugget and the T42 so I wasn't going to be able to pile on any base and even sharpening would be in short supply before the honest taper required in the days prior to a marathon race.
I just filled a week with as much tempo and high-aerobic work as possible before substituting distance and intensity for calories and quiet time.  My groin was giving me grief at any pace nearing 3min per km so 800s and 1km reps were not an option.  For those that care, my sharpening week was something along the lines of:

It opened up my mind, I saw the sign.

Monday - 90 minutes moderate hilly (approx 3:40 pace)
Tuesday - 1hr of hill reps hard (Maungakawa trails)
Wednesday - 1hr moderate + strideouts
Thursday - 2x 5km (16:35)
Friday - 1hr moderate
Saturday - 2x 2km Cambridge Lake at maximum intensity (Camb lake hill and trail).  Nearly threw up after.
Sunday - 70 minutes moderate


I'm pretty unbearable at the best of times but my wife can attest to how intolerable I can be when I'm not running (tapering or recovering).  Once I have a race in my mind it becomes all-consuming and dominates not only my waking hours.  All know her as a very patient and understanding person.


With a few days to go I started to contemplate my race plan and execution.  I was going to be up against some capable runners in the shape of course record holder James Kuegler, and NZ Commonwealth Marathoner Craig Kirkwood.  James has completed the distance in a smidge over 3 hours and Craig once upon a time ripped out a 2:13.  I knew racing these guys would be challenging but I was much more focused on what I was capable of in terms of time.  For me, the marathon is really runner vs distance and time.  If I was to finish dead last I wouldn't care so long as I ran somewhere around where my current level dictated I should be.  Being familiar with the T42 course I had myself placed somewhere around 3:05 if conditions suited.

Room 11 Representin'

I traveled down the National Park the night before the race and was fortunate enough to be rooming with 79 year old legend Brian Smith (also running the trail marathon) and NZ World Cross Country and Mountain Running rep Sarah Biss.  Humbled to be the least talented athlete in the room.


Race day dawned frosty, calm and clear (all hail the supermoon!).  There would be no excuses as to why a runner couldn't get the most out of the course failing their own stupid shortcomings.  Despite the perfect Autumn day we were still required to carry what was around 4kg of compulsory equipment.  Never fun having to lug crap you don't need but if everyone's in the same boat I suppose it favors me since I'm regularly on the plus side of my race weight (thanks to my unofficial sponsors Speights and Pizzahut!).  I find out on the start line that Sam Manson, recent winner of The Dual trail Marathon, would be racing.  Sam, another athlete in around the 3hr mark would prove to be a capable competitor.

GO! James leads out, Sam, CK and myself in tow.

Through the 1st 2km Kugs, Kirkwood, Manson and myself entered the trail proper in a measured yet enthusiastic pace.  As we rolled along the clay 4-wheel-drive track that would constitute the majority of the 42km I became aware that only 2 runners remained near me.  Sam usually only a few strides back and making no sounds of discomfort followed closely by Kirkwood.  Fellow BarefootInc runner James Kuegler was nowhere to be seen.  Having run with James before and seen him race numerous times I was surprised not to have him pushing the pace early on.  It certainly was characteristic of his early running career to damage runners in the beginning phases of a race then prove his fitness by hanging on to the finish.  Not for the 1st time I began to wonder if his more measured approach to his race would show through in the later stages of the run.


In the generous downhill kilometers that followed I seemed to drift clear of the other guys.  On occasion glancing at my watch to see I was floating around the 3:40-3:50 pace mark.  I managed one quality accident while still in Sams sight falling over nothing at all to take some skin off my knee.  Otherwise a fairly uneventful descent to the handful of river crossings that marked the 17km mark.  Kirkwood had rejoined me having a good turn of leg speed in the last few genuine downhill sequences.  We spoke briefly of the fantastic terrain, conditions and running surface as we started passing through back markers from the 48km mountain bike event which was sharing our course.

Smile while you're smashing it.

Meanwhile, Sarah Biss still recovering from her 2:39 Rotterdam Marathon was murdering all in her 24km event scalping every single one of the lads and ladies in a rare foray into the trails for her.  Big things expected when she retires that silly road ambition.

From about 18km there begins an honest but entirely runnable ascent for almost 8km.  Craig dropped not long into this and I was left with the company of countless mountain bikers who were either pushing their iron steads or trying desperately to stay in the saddle by spinning it out in 'egg-beater' mode while weaving all over the track.  Plenty of support was both given and received as we cheered each other on.  I'm counting people shouting "FREAK!" as support.  I asked a few of them if they'd seen my bike until fatigue reduced my greeting to little more than "urgh" as I stepped round them.  By the top I was hopelessly clear of my running friends and in that unenviable position of not knowing how far back it was to the chasers.  At this stage all you can do is open it up and give it everything you have and hope the person behind doesn't have more.


Where the hell was Kugs?!?!?


Fatigue was seeping in as I continued to push into the final 15km.  I threw in another improv' cartwheel rolly-polly to entertain my new mountain bike friends but this time I bled less falling once more over nothing at all but onto a rare soft section of trail.


By 10km to go I was hurting pretty bad and the toll of all those long downhill sections at speed was painfully apparent in my quads as I started struggling to maintain a good rhythm on the flat sections and fail miserably in the ascents.  As fortune had it kms 35 through to 40 tending generously downhill so I could hold sub 4min/km pace while mountain bikers hurtled past me glad to be once again in the favorable hands of gravity and inertia.  I can't be certain but I'm pretty sure someone shouted "Found your bike! Weeeee!" as they flew by.  I knew there was a noteworthy climb separating me from the finish line so it was with abject misery that I crawled into the final uphill.  Sometimes walking as I looked back worryingly to see if my early enthusiasm would cost me a placing or two.

Fin.  Now where's the beer at?

I hadn't looked at my watch in a while so was glad to see it stopped at 2 hours 55 minutes as I crossed the line.  It was the last thing I saw before the grass came up to meet me.  I lay on my face for what seemed like an hour, grass so soft and welcoming I could've stayed there for hours more.  My legs were ruined and anecdotal analysis has me thinking I was short a few long runs in training.

So it for now it stands, T42, 2 hours 55 until someone better comes along or I come back and run it a little smarter.  It's a great course, it's open and fast with long downhill sections to hide any number of weaknesses.  A capable runner should be able to get it done in the low 2:40s in good conditions but a foolhardy one would find the masses of long climbs crippling.

Grumpy Smurf Craig Kirkwood (will recover quickly with beer)

And what of the rest?  Well Kirkwood held 2nd until a fateful final ascent where cramp took his legs away within 2km of the finish, falling to 3rd beening passed by young Sam Manson.  3:09 and 3:11 respectively.  Kugs in cruise control finished in 3:14 and change "feeling fresh enough to run back to the start" His statement leaving me with two lines of thought,
I wonder what the last 17km of your day would've been like had you tried James, and
2xT42 (reversi!)  Hrmm....  There are people just mad enough to consider this.


The unconquerable Brian Smith chopped his predicted 6:30 by 4 minutes, and was next seen tucking into a well earned beer.  

BEER!!!!

Finally, thanks heaps to BarefootInc for their continued support.  A beautiful new pair of Inov8 Talon212s arrived moments too late for me to race in.  Looking forward to putting them to the acid test soon.  Thanks to Jason Cameron and all the crew at 'The Park Travelers Lodge' for the beer and burgers.  Definatelty National Parks 'top spot'.  Thanks to Total Sport for getting 990 maniacs across the start line and almost the same number across the finish line.  The T42 is truly a magic event.  The course is spectacular for racing, and the atmosphere is electric from registration right through to prize giving. I can only assume full scale shenanigans ensued at the after party as the total sport team let their hair down after weeks of hard work and worry.  Thanks to Sarah, this entry would've looked like a bunch of boring words without your pics.


Lastly, thanks for reading.  I would do it without your support but I wouldn't enjoy it nearly as much.
:)

Media:

BackCountryRunner Race Preview

Sportzhub Race Report
BackCountryRunner Post Race Review

Nugget and XC double

This just in...

Firstly, THANKS SO MUCH Barefootinc for their support.  Having spent some time with these guys at Tarawera Ultra last year and again in 2012 it became apparent just how committed to their athletes they are and I'm privileged to have their help with my upcoming racing.  Without starting an age old argument can I just say from a personal perspective I LOVE MY 5s!  Also really looking forward to ripping up some trail in my new Inov8s.  More on that later.

I've had a good couple months training and despite the usual 'old-man niggles' I'm feeling ok in training and getting plenty of aerobic base in.  Initially I had only planned to get through the club cross-country season, arrive in good shape for road season, then decide whether I'd run National Road Relays, but with the support of BFI (and my very loving, considerate and tolerant wife) I have been able to look a little closer at the forthcoming trail races.

First up, The Nugget (Waihi)

I competed (barely completed) the event last year, slipping to 3rd place when my stomach mutinied and breakfast leaped from my mouth 150m from the finish-line.  In slightly better shape this year I thought I best return and put a demon to rest.

Thanks to Total Sports' ever patient Susan Blundell who accepted my very late entry then found a spare marshal to drive me the start line after I missed the bus (doh!).

I planned to get back to Cambridge as soon as I was done at the Nugget so I could race a local inter-club cross country race we were hosting in town so the primary goal was to improve on last years Nugget time with the least possible effort so I still had some legs left to race 6km that afternoon.  I don't recall ever trying to race twice in the same day so this was going to be interesting (challenging/rewarding/fun/painful/stupid...).

Final prayer as I checked the front row of the grid.

O'kawa Bay (looking south)

Around 100 men and women kicked off the 21km trail run starting at the north end of Waihi Beach.  Ignoring the race briefing as is my custom I hopped around trying to shake some glue out of my ancient frame.  Then we were off!

Five minutes in it was apparent the only obvious challenge would come from young Gene Beveridge, a talented orienteer and multisporter.  We rolled on around to Orokawa Bay together just chewing the fat as I settled into a comfortable pace.

I was aware of Gene's heavy breathing and could tell he was suffering some-what as we entered the climbs around each headland.  He's run some handy times on long courses such as 'The Great Cranleigh Kauri run' (31km) so it was safe to assume he'd have the metal to keep running at a solid pace and not fade.  There I was hoping for an easy win.  Damnit, I was going to have to run the whole 21.  Boo.

We stayed pretty close around headlands to Homunga Bay.  Some stunning scenery to chuck your shoes at, seriously worth a visit regardless of your fitness level.

Some of the crinkly bits on the way to Homunga

Gene seemed to be working harder to stay in touch on the climbs but would comfortably regain lost time on the downhills.  It's rare that I have an advantage ascending and I'm assuming a year of Cambridge hills might actually be paying off (possibly at the expense of some speed on the flat).  I started to wonder for the 1st time ever whether there would be enough uphill left in a race for me to press a rare advantage.

Homunga Bay, up up and away!

Nearing the tops above Homunga Bay

Into Homunga Bay and a final look at the mighty Pacific Ocean before turning inland only a handful of seconds separating myself and Gene who continued to linger.  The climb up to the 10km mark is certainly noteworthy and I suffered badly here in 2011.  Much more comfortable this time round I cruised away and by the summit proper I had a healthy lead with no real increase in intensity.

The remaining 10km to the finish passed without incident save only a couple minutes lost on a farm track when the genius course marshals decided to tape off the 21km run course in favor of making the mountain bike course easier to follow.  The usual frustration ensued with a few 'out-and-backs' trying to establish where they intended us to go.  One of the joys of leading a race and not paying attention to the race briefing (douche!).

I crossed the finish comfortably in a time of 1:38.  Around 1 minute faster than last years winner and mega-talented NZ-rep Angus Bell.  Slightly different course this year but neither here nor there in terms of difficulty.  Around 6 minutes faster than fat-Kerry-2011.  Take that fatty!  In yo' face!

Gene rolled in 4 minutes back.  Much bigger and more important things await that talented young man.  Will be one to watch.

On to the Afternoon's fun!

It was Cambridge's turn to host the 'Wilson Brown' inter-club Cross Country race against Hamilton City Hawks and Frankton Athletics.  Annually this is effectively the start of the Cross Country season and it's a good time to get a sighter of the lads and ladies you'll be racing for the next few months of the Harrier season.

"Cross Country" is seldom less taxing than this

I was a bag of DOMS and suffering in the warm up jog to the race start.  Unable to even do stride-outs, the mornings 21km had taken more than a little speed out of my legs.  I was also being troubled by some sort of muscle strain or cramp in my chest.  A nice combination for total body agony.  This was going to be a painful 6km.

The ducks don't mind the runners so much as the starting gun

Fortunately I was once again relatively unopposed and other than an ever present Kent Hodgson I was able to survive the 3x 2km laps of the lake with only significant discomfort.  One sharp climb was required on each lap of the lake making the course not without it's challenges.  Trying to 'hook top gear' immediately after a steep ascent is always difficult and after the mornings abuse I was a box of neutrals trying to find race form at the top of the hill.

Maintaining around 3:30min/kms wasn't easy and it felt like an all-out race effort despite being my current tempo training pace.

Glad to have another win, the 1st for Cambridge at the Wilson Brown for some time (possibly ever?).  Yes, I was lucky there were no really good runners there.  The Hawks are deep with talent at the moment.  Where were they?  Slackers!

Alright, now what?

2 weeks until my next race, the T42, a 42km trail run near the Central Volcanic Plateau.  I'm setting a lofty goal of a 3hr trail marathon which may be a little beyond me at the moment but if you don't try you'll never know.  Fingers crossed I can shake this DOMS and get in a good weeks training.

Thanks again to Barefootinc, Mike Tennant (photos), and thanks for reading.

an den?

no an den!

Not much to say at the mo (shock!)

Training well but most importantly Im enjoying it. Having some good club races. Plenty of competition round the local scene at the moment. Shorter distances possibly playing to my strengths in some cases (base lacking), possibly making it hard on me in other cases (kids are fast!). Really not doing too much training and it feels like the results are probably better than the input which Im lovin.

Cambridge Relays this weekend. 4 x 3km. Should be good for a lark.

Had a gd 36min 10km trot with a chicky today (her PB by >1 min). I managed 34 on the same course a couple weeks back so I guess I don't have much to complain about.

Streakers

Looks like some crazy kids are gonna hurt themselves and probably get fit in the process. Good luck to them I say. Worked for me the 1st time round. No regrets. I just hope they know what they're getting themselves into.

TNF100

Good luck goin out to Solamon runner Grant Guise who's headed over to the Northface100 (STEPS!).

Blog-to-watch

In case you didn't already know, Matt 'the mouth' Bixley has acquired a space on the interwebs for his opinionated rants. Don't expect any punches pulled nor expect that this will quarantine his diatribes. I eagerly look forward to see many deserving runners (myself included) get lashings of abuse. If nothing else it'll be a welcome insight into the deranged mind of a 24hr runner.

Speaking of insane people

Professional "long course" triathletes are TOUGH bastards. Getting properly savaged by local elite Keegan Williams when ever I can. Even more of a thrashing when Graham O'grady is in tow. 30x800m w/200m float SESSION OF PAIN. I'm zero for four on that session I think. Died on #26 or something last time. Gog just getting faster and faster. Mad props to those guys.

'till next time, stay positive, play nice, train hard.

..with the ill behavior

I know, I know, I'm shit at updating this. For my own sake (not for yours, why should you care) I'll endeavor to be better. Before I begin the overdue diatribe let me just cover off a couple things.

Why do I even have a blog?

1. For a couple of reasons but primarily because I hope to maintain an amount of a presence on the internet. Because those good people and companies that help me out and support my sport deserve something in return. If this feeble gesture of online rambling makes just 1 person notice my 'sponsors' then it's done it's job.
2. This is a place for me to get it off my chest. It's my place, so I'll say what I want. I could probably post half this crap on sportzhub or NZRun forums but I don't like to feed the trolls (and there are plenty).
3. Public declaration of my goals and 'notes to self' to remedy attitudes or behaviors I need to kick.

Why should you bother reading my blog?

Sometimes, reading blogs are just a boring pain in the ass. I still follow a heap of them but many I barely skim through. I can't ask you to follow this but I can try and keep it entertaining for those that do. Sorry it's almost entirely running specific. The rest of my life just isn't for discussion.

So what's new?

Well since I last posted, a great deal of things! Moved to Cambridge, I'm back training again and training pretty well. I took roughly 8 months off through the middle of 2010 before getting some cycle time in along with some easy running over November, December. January I shifted my focus to the repetitive consumption of fermented vegetable drinks and felt as though the fitness suffered a bit. By Feb the rough self assessment was that I was in about 16:30 5km shape. I tested thistheory one Friday on the Eastside course and suffered through to 16:27. Lay down on the grass and almost died. Stupid sport.

So at that point I figured if I can run what I consider an acceptable 5km off very little training, I should probably get off my fat ass and do a little more than 2 runs a week. Props to the 2hr Sunday runs. Even when I was training stuff all the 2hr+ Sundays were still a staple.

Last week I did 6 runs which included 2 tempo sessions,

a hard 2:20 and a balls-to-the-wall 22km trail race which I'll get to in a bit. How did I feel after that load? Not flash but most importantly my achilles isn't fucked so ROCK ON!

Races!

I've mentioned elsewhere that I'm not a big fan of people that don't race when they're not at their best because they don't want a poor showing. I hear excuses like "I'm training through" or "It's not a target for me" and the like, but I can tell when you're just being chicken. I've been there so I know all the excuses, I've used them myself. Will I go there again? Probably, though I hope I'll be man enough to just say I'm not racing because I'm a blouse. There's no point dwelling on this, suffice to say if the REAL reason you're not on the start line is because you care too much about what OTHER people think then perhaps you should find a different past time (see #3 above).

Tarawera Ultra (Relay)

This could take a while so you may want to go get a cup of what ever it is that makes reading pony-poo more bearable.

Love Love Love this event. No need to dwell on this. If you've not done it, ENTER NEXT YEAR!

I entered as part of a 4 person relay team but swapped to a 2 person team to help out a fellow club member. However, at the last moment swapped back to the original 4 person team. There's at least an entire blog in that last paragraph alone but since it is a bone of contention for some people I'll leave at that for now.

I was running the 18km Leg 1 from the Redwoods Visitor Center to Okaraka via the Blue Lake with a not insignificant climb in the 1st 5km. For me the best thing about this leg was that I get to start with the whole race field in the pre-dawn darkness, but best of all I got to race head-to-head against training partner and good friend Richard Harris (Right of Picture)

ZERG RUSH!

Rich' murdered me up the climb and I lost a minute heading into the Blue Lake. To my surprise a couple of mountain bikers around the back of the lake said "you're doing well, you're in 1st place!". Turns out Rich was sent the wrong way by the lead bike who was struggling to match his pace. I finished the leg breaking my old record in a time of 1:20. A seriously pissed off Richard came in 4 minutes later.

I made the decision to help Rich out on his 2nd run (25km) for his 2 person team so we set off on leg 4 together (despite my 4 person team runner already being out on this leg). Richard was tired from our morning race but he didn't show it at 1st. Around 9km from the finish he faded rapidly before coming to an abrupt halt. We spoke briefly about what to do and he sounded comfortable to walk it in. I took his transponder and finished out his race for his team. Probably not the right thing to do since his 2 person team had now become a 3 person team (though to be fair I did leg 1 and leg 4 just like him).

Not long after a defeated Richard staggered to the finish he collapsed and suffering severe cramps was bundled into an ambulance and taken to Whakatane hospital.

I feel kinda bad for the dude, he didn't want to disappoint so he let me push him to his limit and then some.

Other than breaking poor Rich the event was the annual success it always is. 2:19 marathoner Sam Wreford won the event taking over an hour off my 2010 time (easy beats).

Sam Wreford (right) and Sjors (pacer) rounding out 100km at TuM

We broke the 4 person relay record, set records on legs 1 and 3 (thanks Aaron Pulford). I lost my 100km record but retained my 60km and 85km records. All in all, a successful outing.

The Nugget! 21.9km 786m ascent.

I acquired a free entry to this rapidly growing 'total sport' event. With plenty on offer I chose the 22km trail run mainly because the 1st 10km pretty much started at my Waihi Beach batch. It was a good chance to get away for probably the last of the summer weather and spend a little time away.

I didn't recognize any of the guys on the startline and given that this event has really only just come into existence I assumed I would be in for an easy win. NOT SO. Angus Bell was history after the 1st 100m. I did see him briefly at 10km and measured the split at a little over 3 minutes but never really held out any hope that I'd be able to do much about it. No biggie, I'd race for the minor places. I was also passed early by Nick Nirschfeld (Auckland) who managed to put 2 minutes on me by half way. 10km in and things weren't going well at all. Through a flat section on Golden Valley Road I was able to make significant in roads into Nicks lead getting within 7 seconds of him before heading into another steep ascent over to the Mine tailings dam. 40 seconds back with not far to go things were looking pretty bad and Nick was showing no signs of slowing. He knew I was chasing hard and I could see him looking over his shoulder (a good sign for me). I remember thinking to myself "WHY WONT YOU JUST DIE!?!?!"

Nick didn't slow 1 bit but my speed on the flat was too good for him and I passed him with only 400m to go. I could hear him suffering not far back making those sounds only a runner can make at maximum effort. I knew I was getting away. I could sense 2m had become 5 and 5m was heading to 10 when a voice in my head said something along the lines of "wow, I suddenly feel like I'm going to-BLEEERRRRRRGGGH!!!!"

I threw up 3 times, maybe 4, only 200m short of the line and an almost certain 2nd place (my kick is mighty indeed, FEAR THE KICK!). Gutted, I let out some choice words which echoed nicely around the enormous open cast pit for all the spectators in attendance (whoops). Walked it in. Small black cloud following.

Nick summed it up well when he said it was all or nothing and I think I'm ok with nothing knowing I was able to give it my all. I can't rightly pinpoint the cause of the sudden stomach mutiny and since it doesn't appear to be anything obvious like a tummy bug or fuel/hydration issues, I am pretty sure I just pushed myself pass the limits my innards would allow. And in that regard, quite glad it was a top end failure and not something else....

it felt further than it looks

NEXT!

The next big thing I'm amped about is EasterLAN/TrainingCamp. Headed to Owhango near National Park and, angry Achilles willing, I'm going to run trails day after day after glorious day.

More to come, watch this space (google reader + subscribe)